The Official Unofficial Bigfoot Challenge: Throwing Down The Gauntlet of Science at Marketing BS.

I decided to move this from my blog entry She Blinded Me WIth Science: Tuning Up Your BS Detectors to make it more easily findable by Bigfoot Networks.

Bigfoot: All ribbing aside, I'm quite serious. Let's put your outlandish claims under the harsh light of scientific scrutiny. Win or lose, a school gets a nice PC, so think of it as an educational opportunity combined with worthwhile charity. You can comment here or e-mail me for the contact information for my counsel, where the contract for the challenge can be fine tuned based on the outline in the challenge below and then finalized.

I look forward to your response.

The Official Unofficial Bigfoot Challenge

(1)

Bigfoot networks ("Bigfoot") will supply a trained network performance expert player (at their expense) of their choice from their pool of network performance experts shills.

(2)
I will provide a newly built, high performance gaming PC, configured with components typically used by gamers with budgets, not to exceed $2000.00 in total costs. Certainly a machine far below what the highly compensated and sponsored professionals would have. You know, the pros making all the glowing statements on the Bigfoot web site.

Such a machine would of course be handicapped in performance compared to the machines of a pro gamer, so any benefit from the Bigfoot technologies would be expected to be magnified. The machine will have a fresh, unmolested installation of Windows 7 64 Bit operating system, patched to the current patch and update state at the time of the challenge.

The tester (me) will install the game to be used for the challenge on the day of the challenge. The game will be patched to the patch level available at that time. Any customization of the game other than that available via normal in-game interfaces will be provided to the tester for review and approval, and will be applied by the tester, subject to verification by the network performance expert player.

(3)
The network performance expert player will play a series of games, not less than 20 games or twenty hours, whichever is greater time. At the start of gaming, and between games or once every hour, the network interface will be switched between the NIC interface provided by the test PC, and the Bigfoot "Killer 2100" NIC. This will be done by an appropriate random selection, known only to the tester (me.)

(4)
 At each game or session start, the identity of the correct and current NIC in use will be noted and placed in a time stamped envelope by the tester.

(5)
The network performance expert player will at the end of each game or session write their guess as to which NIC was in use. In addition, the appropriate score metrics will be noted to provide data on network performance expert player performance during the game. This will be placed into the same envelope, which will then be sealed and be placed into a locked slotted box to prevent tampering.

Alternately, utilizing accepted data security techniques as outlined by Carnac the Magnificent and in light of Bigofoot's likely concerns of this data being 'leaked', the envelopes can be hermetically sealed, placed in a mayonnaise jar, and at a time no later than noon the following day the aforesaid jar shall be placed on Funk & Wagnalls' porch.

(6)
At no time will any employee of Bigfoot be allowed contact or interaction with the test PC, other than access supervised and approved by the tester to allow Bigfoot to validate the correctness and specifications of the test PC build. The network performance expert player will similarly not be allowed access to the machine other than through the mouse and keyboard(s) provided by the network performance expert player.

Specifically, the network performance expert player will not have access to the network connections, which will be switched via a switching unit utilizing a two-into-one topology, so that both NICs on the PC will have cables attached for the duration of the test. The switch box will be viewable only to the tester, and accessible only to the tester.

Any indicators or other applications that provide notification of NIC or network status, performance, or related information will be disabled or made otherwise unavailable.

(6a)
Any and all non-standard or non-default utilization of the network "stack" or operating system by the Bigfoot "Killer 2100" NIC and associated software will be specified in writing and certified as encompassing any and all such utilization by Bigfoot. Such documentation will be provided to the tester at least three days before the challenge test to allow configuration of the alternate NIC and OS as appropriate. This includes, but is not limited to, changes in use of "Nagling", packet fragmentation or coalescing behaviors, any other interaction with the underlying OS environment and network facilities, any interaction with the OS that affects process priorities or other characteristics that may affect system, network, game or process performance that are advantageous to the Bigfoot NIC and that can also be utilized by the alternate NIC but may not be in the default settings for Windows. Such documentation must include any and all system changes made by the installer(s) for Bigfoot related software components, and any and all system changes made by the utilization of Bigfoot related software components.

(6b)
The tester reserves the right to install and utilize monitoring applications to determine system changes made by the installation of any and all Bigfoot related software during the installations process and during the game play testing. This includes but is not limited to Windows registry, process control, and network object monitoring. In addition, the test reserves the right to utilize packet analysis tools during game play testing to ensure that the comparison between NICs uses packets of similar nature.

(6a) and (6b) ensure that the installation and use of the Bigfoot NIC and related software do not cause covert or overt changes to normal Windows OS, Network, or process behavior that would have performance impact that could also apply to the alternate NIC but may not be used by default in Windows. In other words, they ensure that it is the card and associated driver and only the card and associated driver that is affecting performance, if any such effect exists.

Since it would obviously be trivial for an installer, application, or driver to make such changes covertly (e.g., my installer could manipulate the on-board NIC parameters unfavorably, and/or manipulate the parameters for my "super nic" favorably to produce favorable results) and no prior "test" of the Bigfoot products has to my knowledge eliminated this possibility, we will ensure this for this challenge.

The tester reserves the right to install and utilize network performance monitoring tools to record quantitative data to be included with the primary score and NIC identification data. This data, if gathered, will be statistically analyzed to determine if any statistically significant differences exist between the Bigfoot NIC and the alternate NIC. Only open source monitoring tools will be utilized, such that Bigfoot can assess the correctness of the monitoring tool(s). By the same token, any tools that the tester chooses to utilize that are supplied by Bigfoot must be provided with complete source code and build environments, allowing independent validation and compilation of the tool(s). This ensures that no manipulation of measurement or output data is done by the Bigfoot supplied tools.

(7)
At no time when at the PC will the network performance expert player be allowed to utilize any application other than the game played, or directly access any programs, commands, or other services or applications intrinsic to Windows. No performance measurement device or application may be used, nor will the use of any in-game measurement related to network performance be allowed. This is to avoid the network performance expert player from attempting to discern which NIC is in use by means other than game play performance.

The only interactions allowed with the test PC for the network performance expert player will be for activities directly related to the playing of the test game, game configuration, and score data recording.

(8)
I and Bigfoot may agree to a 'disinterested' third party to conduct the actual testing, to include but not limited to the switching of the NICs and recording of data.

(9)
The test will be held at a mutually agreed on location with sufficient network bandwidth. The servers for the games will also utilize providers mutually agreed on by Bigfoot and me. For any game, at least ten providers will be specified, half by the tester and half by Bigfoot. The provider to be used for the tests will be selected by the appropriate random selection process by the tester at the time of the test. If it is determined there will be a LAN component to the challenge tests, the PC used for the server must use a standard retail NIC other than Bigfoot products. Any LAN server PC if used will only have a fresh, default Windows 7 installation and the default installation files and configuration for the game. This is to reduce the possibility of collusion with game server providers and to eliminate the possibility of any covert or overt use of communication techniques dependent on any form of endpoint cooperation and only available when Bigfoot products are at both endpoints of the network.

I humbly suggest the Google campus for the test. Sergey and Larry will surely accommodate us, and they both enjoy a good scientific venture. Heck, they might even help us televise it!

(10)
The Bigfoot "Killer 2100" NIC will be a retail model, purchased by the tester, as part of the test PC build.

No information, such as the MAC of the NIC will be made available to Bigfoot until the termination of the test. Both NICs will use a 'spoofed' MAC during game play, provided and controlled by the tester, to ensure that no identification of which NIC is in use can be attempted by packet analysis.

(11)
The data will be independently analyzed by an agency approved by both parties as to statistical significance of the data gathered.

(12)
The results will be published on the home / front page of the Bigfoot Networks web site. They will remain there for a period not less than one hundred eighty (180) days.

Any changes to the domain name or other infrastructure that would prevent access to this information by visitors to the site will provide for the needed changes to the published results to ensure they remain visible.

(13)
This item is not part of the challenge requirements. It's just a place holder for a "Hello!" to the apparently underpaid lawyers of Bigfoot that will surely be asked to review this and figure out a way to have some kind of "take down" issued so Bigfoot doesn't have to explain why they didn't take up the challenge. Hello!

(14)
If there is a statistically significant network performance expert player performance benefit shown when using the "Bigfoot Killer 2100" NIC, and the network performance expert player shows a statistically significant ability to correctly identify the NIC that was used for each session, I will donate the complete PC to the school or other educational facility of Bigfoot's choice.

(15)
If no statistically significant network performance expert player performance benefit is seen when utilizing the Bigfoot "Killer 2100" NIC or the network performance expert player is unable to identify which NIC was in use for each session to a statistically significant level,  Bigfoot agrees to reimburse the author (me) for all costs incurred for the test PC, which I will then donate to the school of my choice.

(16)
Any violation of the rules, specifications and stipulations agreed upon will constitute a forfeiture by the violator.

It's a Small World.

Ugh! I hated that ride at Disneyland when I was a kid! My brothers and sister loved it, so I was forced to sit through it multiple times every visit. I'd rather pass a red hot branding iron through my cranium than hear that cloying tune again.

A few years back, I thought I was on an episode of the Twilight Zone when a friend asked me to troubleshoot their PC. The machine would randomly start playing that very song through the built-in speaker. It took a while to figure that one out!

Believe it or not, it was a feature of the BIOS used as a thermal warning. Certainly one of the more obscure troubleshooting issues I've ever worked (see Computer Randomly Plays Classical Music for a Microsoft Knowledge Base article that resulted from this behavior, and my blog entry One of the more interesting game problem cases I've worked on for another set of really strange symptoms).

Happily, that the Internet makes this a small world delights me. In the short time this blog has been live, we've had visitors from 53 countries spread around the world! Lots of great e-mails have been sent (please, put your thoughts in the comments: let everyone see where we agree, disagree, or where you've found help with game or other technical problems!)

As Dean Martin, the King of Cool used to say: Keep those cards and letters coming in!

Spies Like Us.

I'll be participating in another Bash webcast tomorrow. The subject is the increasingly cryptic goings on at GKNOVA6, the viral marketing website that appears to be related to the upcoming release of Treyarch's Call of Duty series, Black Ops. You can see the progress evolve by taking a look at GKNOVA6 at the Call of Duty Wiki.

Clever sleuthing by interested gamers around the world has led to the analysis and decipherment of a host of messages, including some craftily hidden steganographic text (see my blog entry Steganography, GKNOVA6 Style for the first example and details on how this can be done).

I've been invited to participate with Jock the host and his guests Josh Peckler from planetcallofduty.com and Carbonfibah, one of the seven recipients of the mystery packages with the USB keys that started the whole ball rolling and a major contributor to the code breaking efforts. Having a background in cryptography and secure systems, I hope to add some value talking about the various methods seen as this has unfolded, and the techniques applied to extract the results. We'll also be discussing the evidence pointing to this being a campaign from the minds of Treyarch.

This is the second recent instance of some very clever marketing by game developers: a few months ago, the popular game Portal from Valve Software had an update. The only material change seemed to be more of the cute portable radios were to be found throughout the game. What soon unfolded, however, is that each new radio had some kind of message. Some were normal sounding transmissions, a few were Morse code, some sounded peculiar, almost like an old FAX machine (turned out to be Slow Scan TV signals, a technique used by HAM radio operators), yet other radios only gave up their secrets when brought to just the right place in the game.

Careful ratiocination by followers of the game led to the decipherment of the various messages, which led them to a web site, done in an old-school bulletin board style, that when logged into led the user to Aperture Science Laboratories. Portal 2, anyone?

Stay tuned for updates on the webcast, I'll update this entry when it goes live! I can't tell you anything more about the details at this time.

"We could tell you, but then we'd have to kill you." - Dr. No

Update 05/09/2010: Had a blast, again, with Jockyitch and his cohorts on the BASH cast. Learned much from Josh and Carbonfibah about the evolution of the messages from GKNOVA6, and how the swarms of gamers worldwide went about deciphering them. Look for the cast at BashandSlash soon!

Update 05/10/2010: Webcast / Podcast is live, here!

Boo! I have you now, child of Satan!

I haven't laughed so hard in a while. This guy might have a heart attack if he played the original S.T.A.L.K.E.R. in the dark...

Caution: Not safe for work / kids content!

My Orthographer Sayz Mah Spellun iz Getten Bettur!

I spell horribly. I despised English classes - I always wanted to be goofing off with math / physics / chemistry / computer stuff. Add to that growing up between Europe and the U.S., and a German Mom, yeah, things got scrambled. I even once received an 'F' on a paper (later remedied by my explanation), accused of plagiarism. The forensic clues to professor used? I spelled color as 'color' and 'colour' in the paper. To him, I must have copied some passages.

Sadly, this handicap has followed me into adulthood. So I'm always cutting and pasting text into spell checkers to ensure correctness. I don't know what took me so long, but I recently 'discovered' the Google Toolbar.

If you aren't using it, check it out! It has tons of cool features. The ones I find invaluable include a spell-checker that can check spelling on any form, portable bookmarks (all of mine, anywhere, any PC, any browser), search on site, search my google docs, and a unified login for those that use Google ID for login.

Pretty slick, pretty stable and bug free. I like it!

Book 'Em, Danno!

My Daughter likes to talk  about her schoolwork. Often. Pretty cool, but it can be a bit hard to do when remote: Try having someone describe something like a physics problem over the phone. So I asked her to get me copies of her books, a request easier said than done. Eventually, the school administration asked for a personal letter from me justifying the request. I ran across it going through some old e-mails. It got the job done, the books showed up quickly after its receipt.

Dear Ms. L$$$$ H$$$$:

Per your request, communicated through my daughter Juliana Cook, a junior at $$$$$$$$$, I am requesting one copy of each of the textbooks she uses in her classes, to facilitate tutoring and other assistance from me.

Because I am away from the school area more often than not, having a copy of the books locally will allow me to much more easily respond to questions from Juliana, and to be proactively prepared for tutoring her in her advanced studies.

I understand from Juliana that this email from me is needed to facilitate this request. I trust and hope that our wishes can be accommodated. Barring this, I will have no choice but to lock Juliana in the basement, properly converted to a medieval scriptorium of course and supplied with parchment and pen, to have her copy all of the books manually for my use. While such monastic activity will likely aid her in her understanding of ancient history, I'm sure you'll agree that getting the books from you will be far more time effective.

Thank you for your attention in this matter, should you have any questions, do feel free to contact me. If time is critical, feel free to have Juliana deliver the message personally. I have trained her in the traditions of Marathon (we only buy the Wheaties boxes with Pheidippides on them), and she will gladly run to deliver the message before dying from exhaustion.

Otherwise, please email me or phone me at (###) ###-####.

Kind Regards,
Rob Cook

Flipping You the Bird, With a Flipping Bird That's Flipping Out.

Oh man, I want one of these! This bird borders on unbelievable. It not only can mimic dozens of calls from other birds perfectly, but when exposed to man made sounds, it mimics them too. I'd make a pair of little tiny bird headphones, and have it listen to BFBC2, so I could have it mimic the crazy accented Russian/English and weapon sounds in the game.

This video shows a bird from a zoo where construction was in progress. Among other things, it mimics:

1. Hammer
2. Chainsaw
3. Jack hammer
4. Lawn mower hitting sticks
5. Leaf blower starting
6. Power drill
7. Wood saw
8. Human voices
9. Two-way radio
10.Worker whistling

Video here: Lyre Bird in Action

How about a knowledge / intelligence filter for forums, and the internet in general?

I read a recent blog entry titled 'Idiots', where the writer lamented the state of knowledge exhibited in 'technical' forum postings. I LOL'd.

The reality is, we as posters need to be 'self-regulating', lest we fall into the class of those covered in the amusing book 'The Cult of the Amateur' by Keen.

The framework I've come up with is:

1) The questioner: Anyone can ask any question, there are no 'dumb questions.'
2) The answerer: Incumbent on them to know what they're talking about.
3) The corrector: Corrects misinformed answers. Should really know what they're talking about.
4) The Uber-corrector: Corrects the correctors. Had better be an expert.
5) The debater: Will argue points with correctors and U-correctors. Had better be an expert, else be prepared to be made an Internet jackass.

There seems to be far too many of the debater, regurgitating wikipedia information without any real understanding of the issues involved, and seemingly unwilling to do the research and footwork required to understand deep technical issues.

We owe it to fellow readers, and ourselves, to be introspective and aware of our own limits of knowledge, and committed to do our homework to ensure proper understanding of things when offering our advice to technical questions.

I'd normally let a carcass lie, but this is a great example of what being made an Internet jackass feels like, we all have the power to control whether we're made to look like a fool in public, and as the adage goes, 'payback is a bitch'. The beauty of the web is the speed of information flow. The ugliness is the vast number of self-proclaimed 'experts' that haven't a clue. That what one posts is usually there for an eternity for the world to see should be a cautionary clue to these kinds of posters. This poster, having barraged a forum with 'technical' posts way beyond their pay grade, was banned after incessantly arguing nonsense. The reaction in a different forum speaks for itself. The author will be fortunate if they don't end up sued by the parent company and the admins they libel. For the record, I am of course not an employee of EA or DICE, nor benefit in any way from either company other than buying their games.

Classic!